Creating a company, product, or service that changes the world requires full dedication. For a lot of people, that means that their personal life has to give. So, in order to change the world (in a big way), people must sacrifice their relationships and those things that have been proven to lead to happiness? And does that mean the reverse is true..that people who are dedicated to their family and friends and have a “healthy balance” are unable to– purely due to the fact there are only 24 hours in a day– lead movements and make huge strides for oppressed peoples like Mohandas Gandhi (who was a “controlling” husband to his wife Kasturba)? Are there examples of real-life-people who actually “have it all”? Ryan, in Girls Trip, talks about how “having it all” is normally a facade.
Or consider celebrities (singers and actors, for example) who have made so many people feel all the feels with their songs or movies. They’re loved by so many, but do they have many real friends or just people who want to be friends with them for their fame, fortune, or persona?
It is sad to think about the trade-off but it can’t be ignored. A big public presence (or big dedication to one’s work regardless of publicity) sucks time away from personal relationships. Examples even on a smaller-scale: Au pairs raise kids whose parents are busy with their careers; rest homes are full of old people whose kids are too busy to take care of them in their dependent state.
As people, we need to do two things. 1) Get in touch with our values. Not what we should value, but what we actually value (spending quality time with x person vs. saving lives as a surgeon vs. perfecting a dance number, etc). Everyone is allowed to value and prioritize what they want (though maybe don’t have kids if you don’t want anything to do with them…but that’s a hot take). 2) Assess how we’re spending our time and see if it aligns with our values.
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”– Gandalf, The Fellowship of the Ring