Date My Friend

I found myself at the event-of-the-school-year known as “Date My Friend” serendipitously. My friend invited me to Pub Night to celebrate Galentine’s Day. I expected to have a great convo about the perks of being single while we stuffed our faces with garlic knots and studied the upperclassmen as they sipped their college-provided beer. I didn’t expect to get an hour’s worth of entertainment that doubled as a psych-lover’s wet dream.

Roughly 100 people (who knows) crammed into one of the Dodd dining rooms to watch PowerPoints given by friends about friends and why they’d make a great girlfriend/boyfriend. Some big ticket items included height, intelligence (“5 classes every semester…crazy?…crazy smart!”), sexiness, kindness (as indicated by relationship status with mom), success as a child, pet preference, and other miscellaneous interests (gaming, nature, 🍑s) that could mean instant bonding..or deal breaking.

I wonder how many people actually get hit up on one of their myriad contact mediums that are flashed before us at the end for a split second (“LinkedIn…for business inquiries only”). I also wonder how many of the spectators are on the market or if they’re happily cuffed folks there for a laugh and a comforting “whew, thank god I’m not having to puff my chest and put on my best good-humored face as my friend shows off sides/snaps of myself to strangers.” Huge props to those who agreed to be auctioned off in this way and especially to those who stood to the side of their friend like a pig at the 4-H spring show, vulnerable to the eyes of bidders, fearful of what the next chapter will hold, yet fat with love for the country kid who helped them grow to be the quirky boar they are today.

I hope everyone can find love (or lust if you’re like my brother who thinks it takes two years for two people to truly love each other [red Wiki coloring]) at least once during their time at Williams. I’d like to know the success rate of “Date My Friend,” looking at metrics like the number of social media requests, DM slides, irl dates, hookups, and marriages that come out of it. In this world of conflicting advice about love, it seems to take on a modification of the “shoot your shot” approach: it’s a friend holding them up on their shoulders while they t-shirt cannon enough shirts for every fan in the stadium, hoping someone will like the color and try it on.

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